Berlin Marathon -- 2:42:49 on a stress reaction

Do people still use Blogger anymore? Whatever, I guess I still do and I'm still trying to process my race in Berlin 2 weeks ago so here we are. After my blood clot in the fall of 2016, I ran a 1:16:40 half marathon in May, 2017, and then ran 4 marathons over the span of a year. My pre-clot (TM) PR was 2:47 from Chicago, 2013. I wasn't able to put a good marathon together from 2014-2016, figuring out post college work/life balance and getting an abundance of health issues under control. 1:16:40 was encouraging. It told me that a marathon in the 2:40-2:45 range was possible. Sub-2:40 was not out of the question with the right training. I wanted to marathon so badly that I signed up for one a few weeks after the half. I trained specifically for the half and wanted to see what I could do off of that fitness. I ran a 2:46 with a 1:22 first half and a 1:24 second half. It was a weird race. I started too slow through 10k and then ran my next 13.1 @ sub-2:40 marathon pace, only to go a little backwards in the final 10k. It was a small town marathon with little to help distract me later in the race. I was happy but not content. I was also looking forward to the NYC Marathon in November. I would tackle that race 1 year after having my clot &, although I did not need to, I raised money for blood clot research. I put in a great summer and fall of training. I was ready to crush 2:40. It was my best build-up ever and I was feeling strong. Race day brought humidity, warmer than I would have liked temps, and some rain. I went out in 1:20-flat and faded hard in the second half. I had to stop a couple of times with some cramping and ended up with a 2:47. I was disappointed in myself. I made (probably the wrong) decision to ignore the weather and run what I thought I was ready for versus what I could have run on the day. I then went to CIM a month later because I already had friends going. Off of limited running in between, I went 2:44:01. I ran super even and knew I had more in me if I hadn't already had NYC in my legs. I then ran Boston in 2018. I ran 2:44:51 in the rain/wind/cold. It was a very strong run after putting in good training but I was left thinking, again, what could I really do on the right day. Surely that performance was worth something better. Surely I was ready for something faster before that but my PR was stuck on 2:44:01. I moved to Chicago shortly after that which made things easy preparing for the Chicago Marathon in 2018. I, again, found good fitness but race day was an absolute disaster. I ran 2:51 on a somewhat humid day. I didn't have it from the start which was strange. I found myself in the hospital a couple weeks later. I do not know if the two were related but I had to take until late January, 2019, to resume running again.

I came back with a vengeance and improved on my two year old half marathon PR off of just a little more than 3 months of training. I ran 1:16:03. It was a solid performance but I, again, did not have anywhere close to a perfect day. It was humid and downpoured. I also over-hydrated and got a side stitch halfway through the race that cost me some time. I basically ran 5:45 pace for 12.1 miles but had a 6:20ish mile 7 where I worked through the cramp. I was happy with the PR but frustrated yet again. I worked on my mile and 5k after that and ended up with a 4:47 road mile on a hot day where I front ran to a win and a 16:20 5k where I lost to someone who ran 16:07 where we ran the first 1.5 miles together and then I trailed for about 100m the rest of the race. I then started on my Berlin Marathon build-up. The plan was 15 weeks harder than I had ever gone before. I ended up with 9 weeks over 100 miles (113 peak) in the first 13 weeks. On the Monday after week 13, with two weeks to go until Berlin, I felt a sharp pain on the top of my foot. I went to a sports podiatrist, got an MRI, and found out that I had a stress reaction. It wasn't a full fracture but the race was in question. My doctor told me she basically would have shut anyone else down and that there wasn't much hope in racing but still tried to help me start the race. We did laser therapy. I didn't run but I cross trained furiously. I was put in a walking boot. After nearly two weeks off, I arrived in Berlin and tried a test run. I was still in a lot of pain but was there, got my number, and decided to give it a go. How much fitness did I lose? Was I still in the kind of shape I thought I was in? Pre-injury, I wanted 2:36-2:38. With the injury, I thought 2:40 could still be in play but wanted to be conservative and start off slower, knowing very well that I might have to drop out if the pain was too much. I did 2 x mile @ 6:00 pace a couple days before the race and it felt terrible after the time off and with the pain. It felt more like 10k pace. I ran 16 @ 5:58 pace, in a 22 miler, in training, feeling comfortable the whole way. I wasn't feeling the race to be totally honest. I was angry. I feel like I just haven't been dealt the right hand going into any goal race. I tried to block all that out and run my race. To my credit, I executed things pretty damn well.

(close to the finish about to go under the Brandenburg Gate)

If my body was going to cooperate, I wanted to be 1:20-1:21 through 13.1 miles. That seemed very conservative when I was planning on 1:18 just a couple of weeks prior. It was a touch warmer and more humid than I would have liked at the start. I was able to get out pretty easily from Corral B (2:40-2:50, A was sub-2:40 runners). Everyone starts out too fast no matter what race or what distance. I knew the race was measured in kilometers so I knew going out conservatively meant 3:50-3:55 or so. I executed perfectly through the first 5k in 19:04 (2:41-flat pace). I was in pain and was assessing my chances of getting through the race with each step. Despite that weighing on me, I started to get into a groove and the kilometers started to click off a bit faster. I ran 18:44, 18:42, 18:52, for my next 3 5k's to get to 20k. I knew I was going to come through halfway under 1:20. I came through in 1:19:30, which is the fastest I have ever hit halfway in a marathon but I also felt stronger than in some of my past attempts. I thought sub-2:40 could happen. I thought 2:38 could happen. Berlin allows you to bring your own bottles so I had Maurten at 15 & 30km. I also had gels to take at 8km, 22-23km, and 35km. With the drinks, I figured I would nail my fueling. I got my bottle at 15km and felt like a pro! By 30km, things were getting harder. I hit 19:04 and 18:51 for my two 5k's from 20 to 30km. At 30km, however, I did not see where the bottles were supposed to be. I lost out on 80g of carbs and water. I held out hope that the station was moved up a little but realized I must of missed it. I could feel my body getting tight and was hoping I would just hold on for another 12k. I ate my last gel a little earlier than I would of liked and plowed on ahead. I went 19:06 from 30-35k. At that point, I was still on 2:39:32 pace. I had some time to spare to get under 2:40. I wanted it with every bone in my body. At 37-38km, however, my body had other plans. Similar to NYC, I cramped up so badly. My left hamstring seized and locked up. I came to a dead stop. I kept trying to run and walk forward but my body was in a world of pain. I took a minute and my mind went to so many places. To 2:40 going out the window. To not being able to finish. To running a bad time. To all the wasted training the last year, the last several years. To never being able to run to my training. To what could have been if I wasn't running on a nearly broken bone in my foot and had been able to run the previous two weeks. To what I could do with good weather as the rain was coming down. Eventually I got going again and tried to get to the finish line. I was forced to stop one more time. I kept drinking everything offered to me on the course.

(exhausted runner, exhibit 1)

From 35-40km, with the two stops, I split a 22-flat 5k. Something great started to happen after 40k. My stride came back. I'm pretty sure I split my fastest kilometer from 41-42k. I did the math and knew I had to close really hard to come in under 2:43. I refocused on that goal, put my head down, picked some people off, and crossed the line in 2:42:49. That's a new PR by a little over a minute. I just feel like it could have been so much more. I feel like I've been ready for 2:42 since 2013. I feel like the fall of 2017 could have been sub-2:40. I feel like Boston was worth sub-2:40. I dunno, it's just tough to only take off 5 minutes in 6 years. I have big goals and dreams for the marathon. My plan is to go away from the marathon for a little while to better help me achieve those goals. If I want to say, run a sub-2:30 marathon someday, I need to run a half marathon in the 1:11-12 range. I've run 1:16 on the nose. I feel like I should be a 1:14/2:36 guy or thereabouts right now but I'm really just 1:16/2:42. My plan is to focus on shorter distances for a year and a half before returning to the marathon in the spring of 2021. That means going quite a bit of time with a 2:42 PR. I know it's probably the right call. Marathon training is challenging and you can't really PR at the 10k or half during training if you're all in on marathon pace. My plan is to run a spring half and then a fall half and honestly see how close I can get to the 1:11-1:12 range. It's ambitious and I'm just a 1:16/2:42 runner. Some would call that a bit out there but I know I have more in me. Berlin wasn't the day I envisioned but after all I went through, and gutting that race out after not running and on a stress reaction, I definitely know that's not my ceiling. That's why I run. To test my limits.

I'm still a bit down without having a result next to my name that I can look at and say that is the absolute best that I can do. Running is hard. I want to find out but it's hard getting trapped in the what if games. I can't run right now. I'm back in the boot. The plan is for four weeks completely off and if all goes well I get to run at that time. It means yet another comeback. Yet another time having to regain fitness. It's always two steps forward, 1 step (or more) backwards. Kipchoge just broke 2. The Chicago Marathon is tomorrow and the weather looks perfect. I'm longing for a 40 degree day, with no injuries, no wind, no humidity, good fluid intake, etc. I don't know if that will ever happen but I love to run. I'm going to give it another go until it stops being fun. I had fun in Berlin even through the pain. Coming back all the time takes some of that joy out of it. I'm going to try to stay positive, stay at peace with the person and runner I've become, and stick to the plan. If I never get faster at the mile to the half marathon, as a 27 year old, I don't think I'm too far away from my ceiling. I think I can get to 1:14/2:36 or so. I feel like I'm there now. I could keep training with my current footspeed and see if I can hit those times, but I'm dreaming of bigger and better. I would like to get under 1:14 before the spring of 2021. That would mean a marathon time under 2:36 is attainable. I want to see what I really can do. It's not going to be easy. I like marathon training more than speed training but I'm going to give myself a shot at really getting better at this thing. The plan is for Tokyo or Boston or a European Marathon in the spring of 2021. I want to run two big half marathon PRs before then.

Indy Mini Marathon -- 1:16:03 PR 6 months post hospital stay!! #StopTheClot

I've been up & down over the last few days about my race on May 4th. I ran 1:16:40 to set my then half marathon PR in the spring of 2017. The race came after I had had a blood clot six months prior. I built off of that race and tackled four marathons in ten months. That wasn't really the plan. After running 1:16 in the spring of 2017, I signed up for a June marathon. I ran a 2:46 on a weirdly paced day. I was targeting something in the low to mid 2:40s and ran with a group the first few miles who said they wanted the same but we slipped into the 6:30s miles 3 to 6. I panicked and ran 6:00-flat for the next 13 miles and then ran some slower miles. It ended up being a 1:22 first half and 1:24 second half. I ran the NYC Marathon in November and blew up spectacularly on a humid day. The race was a logistical nightmare. I went out in 1:20-flat and came home in 1:27. I had done some really great training that indicated sub-2:40 potential. I was mad so I ran CIM four weeks later. I ran even 1:22 splits and knew there was more to give but was happy with the PR. I then ran Boston in April of 2018. I was greeted with horrible weather but somehow managed to run 2:44 again. I then trained in earnest for Chicago, 2018. Six months of nothing glorious -- no racing, just high mileage and big workouts. I ran an awful race but then had some major breathing issues a week after the race. I was misdiagnosed at the time but we think I had another blood clot. I wasn't able to run from mid-October until mid-January. I came back hungry but also had to rebuild my engine altogether. By this spring, I came out on the other side and ran some really great races & workouts:

4/7 Good Life Race 5k- 16:44

4/10- 8 x 800m @ 2:43 + 4 x 400m @ 76

4/13 Lakefront 10 Miler- 57:57

4/17- 3 miles @ 5:35, 3:00 jog, 6 x 2:00 @ 5:12 pace, 2:00 easy, 3 miles @ 5:42 pace

4/20- 1600m in 5:16, 8 x 300m (55 >>> 52), 200m in 33

4/21- 18 miles @ 6:45 pace

4/24- 3 x (3200m, 400m) w./ 400 jogs: 11:15 (5:38, 5:37), 75, 11:15 (5:40, 5:35), 76, 11:12 (5:40, 5:32), 72

One good rule in interpreting a race after you run it is that you should not complain about a PR. 

Here's what I wrote pre-race: I believe that I can crack 1:15:00 or come very close. A good day is seeing 1:14 on the clock or 1:15-mid. A day I'll still feel good about is seeing a PR even if it is by a couple of seconds.

The result: a 1:16:03 Half Marathon PR of 37 seconds. Am I happy with that? Of course not. That would be off brand. I know I shouldn't really complain after not being able to run, having to build back up, and then coming away with a PR, but I feel like I've been so close to running faster than that but haven't. I thought I was in sub-2:40 shape before NYC and Boston. I didn't get to run a half before those races but feel like 1:15 would have been right. In this race, I thought I could threaten 1:15 and at least run 1:15-mid. I took the race out a touch too hot in the mid-5:30s. I settled down with back to back 5:45s and came through 5k on 1:14:50ish pace. I ran two more 5:45s or so and came through 5 miles right on 1:15-flat pace. The race conditions were not great. We were met with steady rain and wind and humidity. Although the temperatures were fine, I don't do great in the heat/humidity, so I preemptively took in some water at 5 miles. Almost immediately, my stomach started to cramp. I fell off the two other runners I had been running with by 5 seconds at 10k. I split a 6:15ish mile 6 to 7, as I fought off the stomach cramp. I couldn't go at the same tempo. I tried to change my strides, my breathing, my thoughts were going dark. I thought my day was over. I kept pressing different parts of my abdomen and eventually things got better. I was able to get it back to 5:50 for 8 & 9 & then was able to go 5:42 for mile 10. I ran my last 5k in 17:56 which is 5:46 pace or 1:15:40 half marathon pace. Basically, I ran 1:14-1:15 pace for 12.1 miles of the race. The 6:15 mile and the end of mile 6 and the start of mile 8 lost me about :30-45 seconds. Without the side stitch, I walk away with a 1:15-mid. I sprinted hard and ran 5:28 pace from 20k to the finish but came up 4 seconds short of 1:15:59. I know it sounds silly but it would not be as frustrating if I could say I ran 1:15. There isn't much difference between 1:15:59 and 1:16:03. It just would have been nice to have a different number for my PR. Either way, I know I could have run 1:15-low/mid on the day, maybe even 1:14-high without the wind/rain. My body is trashed because I ran 90+% of the race as hard as I could have. I don't know when I'll get to run a half next. I'm all in on the Berlin Marathon in the fall so it might not be until well after that. So for now I sit at 1:16:03. Calculators convert that to a 2:39-flat marathon. A 1:15-low/mid would get me 2:37 or 2:38. It would just feel better to know I have run the half that converts faster. I just have to keep proving to myself that I know I'm a better runner than that and go into Berlin with big goals. I want to run 2:37. I want to break 6:00/mile for the marathon. I'm not shying away because I ran 1:16:03 instead of 1:15. If I keep progressing and feel like 2:34-2:36 is possible then I'm going to go for that. I'm ready for a big result in the marathon and I'm going to do everything I can to make that happen.

For now, it's about recovery for the next week or so. I'm targeting a 1 mile, a 5k, and a 10k to touch up on some speed before starting my intentional marathon block in mid-June. From there, it's 15 weeks of grinding through marathon training. I hope to come out on the other side of that, that we have good weather in Berlin, and that I'm able to run the kind of race I know I'm capable of.

Never Scared

Never scared. I write these two words to convince myself that I am up for whatever comes next. When I wrote my last blog post at the end of December, I was not even able to run but I was somehow optimistic about the forthcoming spring. I did not know when I would be able to run, yet I still set goals for 2019. I was able to return to running at the end of January. I became increasingly aggravated through January. I was able to visit a cardiologist who basically tore up every assessment of my health since last fall. I had been following the ER Doctor's orders. My troponin levels were still slightly elevated and I was told I had had viral myocarditis. The cardiologist told me that was not true. They scheduled me for a bunch of new tests but told me that I could return to running. I was told to build back slowly and stop if things felt how they did last fall.

I was so excited that I ran two miles when I got home. I was tired. I was exhausted. There was snow on the ground. I barely cracked 8:00 pace. I didn't care. I was back.

I ran 2,3, and 4 mile runs for two weeks. Then I ran six miles. It was hard. I was breathing hard, but it did not feel like how I felt last fall. I felt out of shape (which I was) but not like I could not breathe. I pushed forward. After weeks of 15 and 25 miles, I hit 40 in week 3 with a 10 mile run @ 7:00 pace. There were no signs to slow down so I bumped up to 50 miles the next week. I brought back light workouts. By the end of February, I had built my mileage up to 60, with a long run of 15, and got through a 5 x 1600 workout @ 5:45 pace. I had been signed up for the NYC Half Marathon in mid-March so flew out to see family/friends and do the race. I was scared, but I told myself not to be. I loved running and was able to do what I loved again.

3/17 NYC Half Marathon: I thought I could run anything from 1:21-1:24. I purposefully started slow. I hit mile 1 in maybe a few seconds under 6:20. I felt good. I checked my watch at mile two and was sub-6:10. By mile 4, I had just dipped below 6:00. Surely there was a mistake. Surely I could not be hitting these splits. My best "tempo" had been 3 miles at the end of a long run around 6:00 pace. Now I was doing that early in a half marathon. Mile 5 climbed up and over the Manhattan Bridge. This is where things fall apart. I split just under 6:30, which was pretty good considering the incline. I took a deep breath at the top, looked at the city in front of me, and smiled. I felt good. I was having fun. I made a decision to see what I was capable of on the day. I put my head down and split a mile in the 5:30s/40s down the bridge. By mile 8, I was doing math and thought I could dip under 1:20:00. By 10 miles, I was thinking 1:19:00 might be in play. After some hills at the end of the race, I crossed the finish line in 1:19:06 (6:02/mile). 5k splits: 19:14, 18:58, 18:28 (1st 10k in 38:12 = 6:08 pace), 18:36 (37:04 from 10k to 20k = 5:57 pace), 3:50- 5:38 pace to the finish. I was emotional. I was shocked. This race cemented to me that I could get back to my old self. It would take some time but I was not done yet.

3/24 Shamrock Shuffle 8k: I was in the "elite" field based on my past times. I figured with a half marathon in my legs, running 5:45-5:50 pace for 5 miles sounded about right. Shamrock is a huge Chicago race. The gun went off and I tried to run slow and let people get out in front of me. I still was a touch under 5:40 at mile 1. Too fast. Mile 2 was a little faster. I hit 5k in 17:20ish. I hit 4 miles in 22:20ish = 5:35/mile. I closed the last .97 miles @ 5:24 pace with a fantastic last 400m. I ran 27:35. This was a PR. I could have run faster than this in the past but have not run many 8k's. I have yet to put a good 10k together so I never hit anything faster en route. After the race, I scrapped my idea about running the 25k Champs in May and opted for a half marathon in Indianapolis instead. I did not think I would be able to get into half marathon pr shape by May but this race made me think twice about that. I signed up for the 500 Festival Half, with the thought that I could run faster than 1:16:40.

4/7 Good Life Race 5k: 16:44 -- 5:13, 5:26-5:35-:30 (5:23 pace). I went to a Bulls game the night before, ate junk, drank beer, stayed out too late. Temps were a little warm after getting through my first Chicago winter. I got out a little too hot but was in a solid pack of runners. I hung with four others through 2 miles but then fell off. I was having, erm, digestive issues by that point and was just trying to get to the finish without, erm, you get the point. I ended up out kicking one other runner from that group. We were spread out from 16:30-16:45. I would have liked to have been closer to 16:30 but know with better (or different- balance is important, I had a good time at the game) choices that I could have been there. I hadn't really done a lot of speed work so this result was the third surprising race result in a row. I've run 16:36 on the track so this is my road PR. I threatened my track PR and I know, with more training & with specific training, that I can go a lot faster.

4/13 Lakefront 10 Miler: 57:57 (5:47 pace). I got 57:50ish on my watch, not sure what happened there. I did a big workout mid-week (8x800m in 2:43 + 4 x 400m in 76) so just wanted to show up and run hard for 10 miles. The weather was okay -- it was in the 40s which is good for me but there were 15mph gusts. Miles 2-5 and then parts of 9 & 10 were into the wind. I ran in a big pack of maybe a dozen runners for a good portion of the race. I thought breaking 57:00 might be in the cards but with no taper and the weather I knew that wasn't going to happen at the turnaround. There was someone pacing our little group who announced they would be adding in a couple of faster miles and took off just before 8 miles. I found myself in the lead and decided to test my fitness. Our predicted finish time was a shade over 58:00. I knew if I put in a couple of good miles I could come in under that. I went to the front of the group and split a 5:39 mile to pull away. I was in 8th overall and starting to close the gap on 7th who had always been well in front of our group. By 9.25, however, I had been caught by three people. I really hit a wall for a quarter mile when I turned back into the wind by myself. I had gone too early. 9.25-9.75 you navigate a grass hill and then head towards a 1 lap of the track finish. We climbed the hill as a group of 4. I managed to pass back 2 out of the 3. I had a strong finish on the track but my legs felt like bricks, and had felt that way since the earlier miles. My legs weren't fresh. I didn't taper. I'm all in on a May 4th Half so I knew that going in. I finished 9th overall, with one runner 3 seconds up on me and another 7. 6th place was 56-low. On a better day, 57-low or 56-high would have been about right. 7th would have been the ceiling but I was nonetheless optimistic. 57:57 comes out to just under 1:16 half marathon pace. On tired legs! With a couple of good, intentional weeks, I thought I could add some more fitness and maybe put sub-1:15 in play.

4/17- 3 miles @ 5:35, 3:00 jog, 6 x 2:00 @ 5:12 pace, 2:00 easy, 3 miles @ 5:42 pace
4/20- 1600m in 5:16, 8 x 300m (55 >>> 52), 200m in 33
4/21- 18 miles @ 6:45 pace
4/24- 3 x (3200m, 400m) w./ 400 jogs: 11:15 (5:38, 5:37), 75, 11:15 (5:40, 5:35), 76, 11:12 (5:40, 5:32), 72

I really hit the two big workouts on 4/17 and 4/24. 1:15:00 for a half marathon is 11:22 for 3200m or 5:43 per mile. I did my quality all under those times in those workouts. I have now started an actual taper and hope to come out on the other side feeling fresh. As they say, the hay is in the barn. I've made my fitness deposits and can only hope that my body responds and that we get good weather. I'll be in Indy on Saturday and will be trying to update my half marathon PR that I set in 2017 six months after having a blood clot. The doctor that I'm working with now thinks I might have had a repeat clot last fall. This race will come six months after my most recent hospital state. Coincidence? I think not but I would really like to stop this cycle of going to the hospital at all!! All I can say is that I have been so grateful to just be able to train the last few months. I have smiled more often in everyday life. I enjoyed the ride for sure. Now I want to see it pay off. I believe that I can crack 1:15:00 or come very close. A good day is seeing 1:14 on the clock or 1:15-mid. A day I'll still feel good about is seeing a PR even if it is by a couple of seconds. I am still a little nervous about racing with so many unknowns surrounding my medical history. All I can tell myself is that I feel good and that I am prepared. Fear is something that can be turned into energy, into opportunity. I'm going to use that to tackle this half marathon and hopefully see a result indicative of what I have been working towards for years.

#StopTheClot